Creative Commons

2005-08-07 23:00:00

Too much time to think

Ya know, I was talking to Mary tonight on IM and I started thinking, "What happened?" All of a sudden it's like I'm the last person she wants to talk to. I mean, what happened to this (taken from her webpage on 7/4):
On to the weekend... I gave Kevin a call to see if he wanted to hang out with me Friday night, of course he did. I said we should catch a movie because I was in a good mood (I got a job interview set up for Tuesday) and I wanted to get out. We met at the theatre, grabbed some foodage and saw "Madagascar." Oh how cute was that movie, especially since Kevin and I were the only ones without kids. We were the kids. Such losers. It was a good movie though and I know one of us will buy it when it comes out. So I ended up spending the night there... or the next 3 nights to be exact. There was a graduation party on Saturday, Sunday was the 4th party at Kevin's friend Eric's friend's house (confusing? I think not) and Monday was the 4th party at Kevin's. Why does my family not do things like this? I had a great time. How could I not? I mean I was with Kevin the whole time, except when he fell asleep Monday and Kelli and I ran away to go swimming.
Now the tough part comes up... Kevin. I am having a tough time working out what exactly to say about him. He's perfect really, even though that sounds absolutely cheesy. I was just looking at him today and I couldn't stop smiling and laughing to myself. How am I with him? Wow. Its just freakin' crazy. We can banter back and forth and read each others minds and all that crazy stuff. I just want to be with him all the time. I really didn't want to leave today, but alas I had to. Maybe we will be together more often in the future. Kevin and I did go house hunting in Johnstown... it was weird. It felt normal, which made it weird. He said to me later that night that he pictured us living in the one house and we were out by the pool or something to that effect. Scary, but not... All I know is that I hope this lasts for a good long time.
I just started looking back at our past conversations and thought, "I miss that." I miss her talking like that. She used to call me "love." I haven't heard that in a long while. It all started when I decided to have an opinion. Ever since then, I'm the bad guy. No matter what... I don't think an IM conversation has gone by where I didn't get yelled at for something. I can make her mad just by asking if I should bring my golf clubs along.
I don't know what to do. I don't think she realizes that I'm still crazy about her. I still get butterflies when she's around. I love her. But I'm not so sure that feeling is mutual...


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